Football Related Jokes

I was watching the boxing day football when one of them scored a beautiful goal with a Christmas decoration

It was a cracker!

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:West Ham's Centre Back seemed a bit down after their latest defeat.

I just said to him, 'Chin Upson'

I heard a dyslexic kid invented a club by saying QPR.

What do you call a Polish guy at Hogwarts?

Magicski

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:West Ham's Centre Back seemed a bit down after their latest defeat.

I just said to him, 'Chin Upson'

I heard a dyslexic kid invented a club by saying QPR.

What do you call a Polish guy at Hogwarts?

Magicski

I was talking to this New Zealander and he Smeltz of something rotten.

You support Newcastle don't you? Who's your favourite player?


No I don't, I like Lyon Best

forestfcfan wrote:You support Newcastle don't you? Who's your favourite player?


No I don't, I like Lyon Best

I hear that a Newcastle keeper is getting a lot of critisism for no reason, don't know which one.

I think it's Krul though.

My mate asked me why the Arsenal LB kept saying things like "it's a game of two halfs"

I told him it's just Cliche

Somewhere, sitting in his living room, a man named Colin Wanker tearfully realises that his name is an anagram of Neil Warnock.

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:You support Newcastle don't you? Who's your favourite player?


No I don't, I like Lyon Best

I hear that a Newcastle keeper is getting a lot of critisism for no reason, don't know which one.

I think it's Krul though.

Got stoned on a recent trip to Amsterdam. Now i'm as high as a Kuyt

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:You support Newcastle don't you? Who's your favourite player?


No I don't, I like Lyon Best

I hear that a Newcastle keeper is getting a lot of critisism for no reason, don't know which one.

I think it's Krul though.

Got stoned on a recent trip to Amsterdam. Now i'm as high as a Kuyt

You know that thick, nice chav from Corrie? Well theres a land full of him and Chris has to live there.

I really feel sorry for him, having to live in Kirkland.

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:You support Newcastle don't you? Who's your favourite player?


No I don't, I like Lyon Best

I hear that a Newcastle keeper is getting a lot of critisism for no reason, don't know which one.

I think it's Krul though.

Got stoned on a recent trip to Amsterdam. Now i'm as high as a Kuyt

You know that thick, nice chav from Corrie? Well theres a land full of him and Chris has to live there.

I really feel sorry for him, having to live in Kirkland.

Pip, do you Evra get tired of football related puns?

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:You support Newcastle don't you? Who's your favourite player?


No I don't, I like Lyon Best

I hear that a Newcastle keeper is getting a lot of critisism for no reason, don't know which one.

I think it's Krul though.

Got stoned on a recent trip to Amsterdam. Now i'm as high as a Kuyt

You know that thick, nice chav from Corrie? Well theres a land full of him and Chris has to live there.

I really feel sorry for him, having to live in Kirkland.

Pip, do you Evra get tired of football related puns?

Neville. I wil Phil bad if I did.

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

I hear that a Newcastle keeper is getting a lot of critisism for no reason, don't know which one.

I think it's Krul though.

Got stoned on a recent trip to Amsterdam. Now i'm as high as a Kuyt

You know that thick, nice chav from Corrie? Well theres a land full of him and Chris has to live there.

I really feel sorry for him, having to live in Kirkland.

Pip, do you Evra get tired of football related puns?

Neville. I wil Phil bad if I did.

I Gary Teale that you wouldn't

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Got stoned on a recent trip to Amsterdam. Now i'm as high as a Kuyt

You know that thick, nice chav from Corrie? Well theres a land full of him and Chris has to live there.

I really feel sorry for him, having to live in Kirkland.

Pip, do you Evra get tired of football related puns?

Neville. I wil Phil bad if I did.

I Gary Teale that you wouldn't

Thanks. My jokes are Taylor made for this thread.
Let's Gary on then. If your next one's poor then Fletcher coat and leave.

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

You know that thick, nice chav from Corrie? Well theres a land full of him and Chris has to live there.

I really feel sorry for him, having to live in Kirkland.

Pip, do you Evra get tired of football related puns?

Neville. I wil Phil bad if I did.

I Gary Teale that you wouldn't

Thanks. My jokes are Taylor made for this thread.
Let's Gary on then. If your next one's poor then Fletcher coat and leave.

That one was very good. I'll fetch my coat and run Holloway home.

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip, do you Evra get tired of football related puns?

Neville. I wil Phil bad if I did.

I Gary Teale that you wouldn't

Thanks. My jokes are Taylor made for this thread.
Let's Gary on then. If your next one's poor then Fletcher coat and leave.

That one was very good. I'll fetch my coat and run Holloway home.

That's because i'm the Kingson.

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

Neville. I wil Phil bad if I did.

I Gary Teale that you wouldn't

Thanks. My jokes are Taylor made for this thread.
Let's Gary on then. If your next one's poor then Fletcher coat and leave.

That one was very good. I'll fetch my coat and run Holloway home.

That's because i'm the Kingson.

Well I'm the Queen of the South

A new game is being launched for the unlucky. The national Ancelott-ery.

I was just about to score a goal when someone threw an apple seed at me

I was pipped at the post.

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

I Gary Teale that you wouldn't

Thanks. My jokes are Taylor made for this thread.
Let's Gary on then. If your next one's poor then Fletcher coat and leave.

That one was very good. I'll fetch my coat and run Holloway home.

That's because i'm the Kingson.

Well I'm the Queen of the South

Good. I bet you feel like you are one of the Royals when you are Reading my jokes

Imagine Celtic's back four 3 years ago if they had signed Ipsa and Fanni. It'd be like this:

Ipsa----Balde---Fanni----O'dea

Arsenals captain likes to mess around with prostitutes.

I think he's called Cesc Cashforgash

No, NO!!! Just please stop.

Royal, this is a pun-off.

Who ever made this thread is a planthead, they've basically set up an onslaught of Pip's crappy one-liners.

forestfcfan wrote:Arsenals captain likes to mess around with prostitutes.

I think he's called Cesc Cashforgash

I was offered a ship ride round a mountain on Christmas Day. I accepted.

It was terrible. It was a Roque Santa Cruz!

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:Arsenals captain likes to mess around with prostitutes.

I think he's called Cesc Cashforgash

I was offered a ship ride round a mountain on Christmas Day. I accepted.

It was terrible. It was a Roque Santa Cruz!

I ran into a car door belonging to a Tottenham player.

My Dad said to me, 'Mind the Dawson'

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:Arsenals captain likes to mess around with prostitutes.

I think he's called Cesc Cashforgash

I was offered a ship ride round a mountain on Christmas Day. I accepted.

It was terrible. It was a Roque Santa Cruz!

I ran into a car door belonging to a Tottenham player.

My Dad said to me, 'Mind the Dawson'

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:Arsenals captain likes to mess around with prostitutes.

I think he's called Cesc Cashforgash

I was offered a ship ride round a mountain on Christmas Day. I accepted.

It was terrible. It was a Roque Santa Cruz!

I ran into a car door belonging to a Tottenham player.

My Dad said to me, 'Mind the Dawson'

I hate playing Hide n Seek with Scottish defende....

Wier's he gone now?

Delete this thread now.

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:Arsenals captain likes to mess around with prostitutes.

I think he's called Cesc Cashforgash

I was offered a ship ride round a mountain on Christmas Day. I accepted.

It was terrible. It was a Roque Santa Cruz!

I ran into a car door belonging to a Tottenham player.

My Dad said to me, 'Mind the Dawson'

I hate playing Hide n Seek with Scottish defende....

Wier's he gone now?

Music fans gathered outside a Manchester United stars house last night.

Apparently they like going to Giggs

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:

Pip wrote:

forestfcfan wrote:Arsenals captain likes to mess around with prostitutes.

I think he's called Cesc Cashforgash

I was offered a ship ride round a mountain on Christmas Day. I accepted.

It was terrible. It was a Roque Santa Cruz!

I ran into a car door belonging to a Tottenham player.

My Dad said to me, 'Mind the Dawson'

I hate playing Hide n Seek with Scottish defende....

Wier's he gone now?

Music fans gathered outside a Manchester United stars house last night.

Apparently they like going to Giggs

Hear about that Croat who goes round looking for jobs?

Hes a Corluka (pronounced Chore-luker).