Your Perfect Goal

A question borrowed from The Football Ramble podcast. Give an outline of the best goal you could ever imagine being scored. You're allowed to use any players you want - even yourself - in your description.

Mine

Neuer collects the ball and throws it out to the halfway line to Rijkaard.

Rijkaard collects on his chest, settles the ball,and plays a diagonal pass to an onrushing Essien.

Essien collects the ball in his stride and bursts past two midfielders with a sudden change of pace before lifting his head to assess his options.

In front of him are Gourcuff and Socrates. He decides to pass the ball to Gourcuff.

In one motion Gourcuff collects the ball with his right foot before flicking it behind his standing foot to Socrates before turning and running past his bemused marker.

Socrates returns the favor in similar fashion to Gourcuff, similarly confusing his own marker.

Not to be outdone, Gourcuff backheels the ball to Socrates who now attracts the attention of the two bewildered opponents.

Their disorientation is heightened when Socrates immediately chips the ball over them perfectly into Gourcuff's stride.

Gourcuff plays the ball to Zidane who splits two defenders with a perfectly executed roulette, before playing a diagonal ball into the penalty area.

There, Ronaldo's run meets the ball's path, and the striker does two stepovers before rounding the goalkeeper and tapping the ball into the back of the net.


Yeah, that's mine. What's yours?

Richard Dunne hoofs to Chris Samba.

Samba heads in.

Sagna runs up the wing, Samaras heads the ball against the bar, it flies back out for Karagounis to volley in, for the game

Zzonked wrote:[insert centre back] hoofs to [insert tall player].

[same tall player] heads in.

I have now accounted for 90% of the forum.

Reina overhits a goalkick which bounces once before looping over De Gea's head, coming back off the crossbar and smacking De Gea in the face as he turns round. The ball trickles over the line.

Johnson

Johnson hits the ball into acres of empty space for Hieghway

And Hieghway a brilliant cross back

Mcdermot was the one who finished it, and what a classic goal

Delap throw Shawcross header goal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ilOSbu1Fjw

or

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qG4FeccLQVg

A last minute free kick to win the league, or a classic counter attack and great finish.

Shay Given throws out quickly to James Collins

Collins smashes it 60 yards to Albrighton

Albrighton knocks it around Liam Ridgewell and crosses to Darren Bent

The Cross is overhit and falls to N'Zogbia

N'Zogbia smashes the ball but hits the post,

Only for Darren Bent to volley it in past Birmingham City's keeper to win the Premier League for Aston Villa

Jonny Howson plays a delightful pass over the top of a poorly positioned Wes Brown, Jermaine Beckford takes a heavy touch away from the keeper but pokes it in from the tight angle infront of a stunned Stretford End.

Too hard to come up with, I'd have to use way too many players and it'd be unrealistic.

kyro7 wrote:Too hard to come up with, I'd have to use way too many players and it'd be unrealistic.

Yeah, Rei's is very realistic.

SBSP wrote:

kyro7 wrote:Too hard to come up with, I'd have to use way too many players and it'd be unrealistic.

Yeah, Rei's is very realistic.

Fuck off you ugly cunt.

I'm playing up front alongside Rooney against Liverpool. It's the last minute and Carragher is marking me. The referee is facing the other way, so Rooney starts taunting him. Carragher punches Rooney, we get a FK from 30 yards out and I score it to win the match.

Why are you such an angry man Kyro?

Ben 10 wrote:Why are you such an angry man Kyro?

I'm not, I was joking.

90th minute, I'm standing about 30 yards out picking my nose, and then theres a lovely cushioned header by Neil Mellor and i run on to it and unleash a wicked ass shot until the bottom corner.

*Mellor, lovely cushioned header for CAMMMMEERRRRONNNN, OHHHHHH YA BEAUTYY WHAT A HIT SON, WHAT A HIT*

Big Sol.

That is all.

Mine would be me playing for England against Germany in the World Cup Final at Wembley. Late into second half stoppage time the game is goalless, then I do this:

We're playing United, free kick 25 yards out, slightly to the right, I'm standing over it with Didi Hamann, he lays the ball off to "JAAAAYYYYYY!!" "OH MY GOODNESS!!" "GOODNESS, GRACIOUS ME!!", and "It's amazing the goal is still standing" after my shot rockets into the top corner at frightening speed.

I then run off with my god awful haircut flopping about on top of my head, pull my shirt over it and show my 6 pack

One Ronnie Radford!

David Seaman rolls the ball out to Tony Adams who plays it across the back line to Sol Campbell


Sol Campbell bursts into midfield out powering the oncoming Peter Crouch before laying the ball off to Cesc Fabregas


Fabregas makes Jenas look the amateur he is in comparison to Cesc Fabregas before playing a reverse pass to Pires on the Wing. Meanwhile Sol Campbell has continued his run from the back.

Pires plays the ball inside to Bergkamp who turns Michael Dawson in an instant before playing in Henry on the right of the penalty area at WHL.


Henry plays the ball across the box onto the head of Sol Campbell who powers a header straight at Gomes who cannot handle it as it goes between his legs.


Sol Campbell celebrates in front of the Tottenham fans.


Happy days.

Manchester United need a goal to win the Premier League or they lose it to the rivals Liverpool, who would then equal Uniteds 19.

Here we go,
De Gea starts a move off, staright up to Evra

Evra's running down the wing, he goes past Nasri brilliantly, and passes to Nani

Nani is running down the wing, and absoloutely whizzes past Sagna, and passes into Anderson

Anderson hooks the ball round Vernmaelen, and puts in over Laurent K,

Rooney gets it, he's got Fabianski to beat he shoots at the top corner with venom, oh dear! He misses, and the ball goes straight out to Young

In the 90'th minute, Young takes the ball and plays a one two with Cleverley, and Cleverley passes back to Nani

HE SHOOTS! AND HE SCORES HE'S WON UNITED THE LEAGUE! LUIS NANI'S WONDERSTRIKE, FROM ATLEAST 35 YRDS AWAY!

my perfect goal? me scoring for Manchester United to win the CL final, don't care how it happens.

And now Hull City can counter attack
Its Nick Barmby
Windass to his right
Campbell to his left, Hull Citys top scorer
Fraizer Campbell
A slip by Louis Carey


-pause-

WINDASS!!!

Quite simply, destined to be from Dean Windass
A clincal volley, a vital step forward and who knows, maybe thats the moment from the hometown boy

Ben Williams kicks the ball up the pitch
Wordsworth chests it down and lures on the wing
Wordsworth curls in a crisp cross
Odejayi heads the cross out towards the edge of the box
Gillispie sprints towards the ball
He strikes it in a lunge motion
It curls to the left heavily
It flies past Nikki Bull in the Wycombe goal into the top corner
Infront of 32,000 U's fan at Wembley for Colchester to scoop promotion to the Championship and beat Wycombe in the added time at the end of extra time.

Rei Andros wrote:

Zzonked wrote:Richard Dunne hoofs to Chris Samba.

Samba heads in.

That image

Hleb plays a through ball to Eboue
Eboue surges forward
Crosses it in with his first touch to the outside of the box
Van Persie hits the first time volley and beats the keeper from just outside the box
Fabregas and Henry cannot believe what they just saw
Van Persie is like