Dirty Little Secrets

Everyone cried when Mufasa died Che. That's no secret.

Ché Guayaba wrote:In 1996, I cried when Mustafa died.

my name


i cried harder when bambi's mum died

Yeah I cried when Mufasa died as well. When I was a kid I used to watch the Lion King at least 3 times each day. My parents thought I was crazy.

I cried at the end of Toy Story 3 in cinemas. Twice.

I shot a man in reno, just to watch him die.

SBSP wrote:I cried at the end of Toy Story 3 in cinemas. Twice.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I just want to give you a big hug now.

SBSP wrote:I cried at the end of Toy Story 3 in cinemas. Twice.

I used to be the commentator when playing FIFA. 'Till about I was about 15.

To be honest, I still do it now.

Other ones... hmm...

This is true by the way.

I was at a funeral, bout 2 years ago. But the night before it'd been my nephews communion so I'd been drinking all day, woke up for the funeral with a MASSIVE MASSIVE hangover. Anyway we're walking to the church and I needed to be sick so so bad, but I also needed a shit.

I thought it was my lucky day, there was portable toilets near by the church so I dived in, started to bork, but because I was tensing that hard to get the ale out of me, I shit meself because I needed a shit.

A full turd came out me ass and on to me boxies, I really couldn't be assed doing anything so I just slowly walked into the church with a shit in my pants, and when I sat down it squashed on my ass cheeks, let me tell you it fucking stunk the church out. I was so embarrassed, but no one noticed it was me. Then my auntie who was sitting next to me, like turned her head and was jus' looking at me for a few moments and went "Have you shit yourself"

I broke out into a silent laugh and went red, but denied it the whole time. It was horrible but also so funny at the same time. Any way, got home and put it this way, I didn't see the fucking boxies again, they got put in a bin bag and thrown away.

I have the shits at the moment When i can be bothered to explain my college story from the other week i will

Dean wrote:I used to be the commentator when playing FIFA. 'Till about I was about 15.

To be honest, I still do it now.

Other ones... hmm...

This is true by the way.

I was at a funeral, bout 2 years ago. But the night before it'd been my nephews communion so I'd been drinking all day, woke up for the funeral with a MASSIVE MASSIVE hangover. Anyway we're walking to the church and I needed to be sick so so bad, but I also needed a shit.

I thought it was my lucky day, there was portable toilets near by the church so I dived in, started to bork, but because I was tensing that hard to get the ale out of me, I shit meself because I needed a shit.

A full turd came out me ass and on to me boxies, I really couldn't be assed doing anything so I just slowly walked into the church with a shit in my pants, and when I sat down it squashed on my ass cheeks, let me tell you it fucking stunk the church out. I was so embarrassed, but no one noticed it was me. Then my auntie who was sitting next to me, like turned her head and was jus' looking at me for a few moments and went "Have you shit yourself"

I broke out into a silent laugh and went red, but denied it the whole time. It was horrible but also so funny at the same time. Any way, got home and put it this way, I didn't see the fucking boxies again, they got put in a bin bag and thrown away.

Dean wrote:I used to be the commentator when playing FIFA. 'Till about I was about 15.

To be honest, I still do it now.

Other ones... hmm...

This is true by the way.

I was at a funeral, bout 2 years ago. But the night before it'd been my nephews communion so I'd been drinking all day, woke up for the funeral with a MASSIVE MASSIVE hangover. Anyway we're walking to the church and I needed to be sick so so bad, but I also needed a shit.

I thought it was my lucky day, there was portable toilets near by the church so I dived in, started to bork, but because I was tensing that hard to get the ale out of me, I shit meself because I needed a shit.

A full turd came out me ass and on to me boxies, I really couldn't be assed doing anything so I just slowly walked into the church with a shit in my pants, and when I sat down it squashed on my ass cheeks, let me tell you it fucking stunk the church out. I was so embarrassed, but no one noticed it was me. Then my auntie who was sitting next to me, like turned her head and was jus' looking at me for a few moments and went "Have you shit yourself"

I broke out into a silent laugh and went red, but denied it the whole time. It was horrible but also so funny at the same time. Any way, got home and put it this way, I didn't see the fucking boxies again, they got put in a bin bag and thrown away.

Aww man

ahlycotc wrote:Yeah I cried when Mufasa died as well. When I was a kid I used to watch the Lion King at least 3 times each day. My parents thought I was crazy.

yeah me too until the tape mysteriously disappeared.

Why does messing your pants have to be part of every story?

I have a few stories from primary school. This is the first one that comes to mind:

One time I went home from lunch. When I came back, they had already started class. I left my jacket where they were kept and went outside to find my mum. It was raining, and she had obviously already left. I tried singing "Rain, rain, go away," but it didn't work (). When we enter from there, we have to knock on a window for another classroom. Usually it's empty when you come on time, but now there are kids in there. The teacher opens the door and takes me to the headmaster. I remember being wet and cold, and that the headmaster was trying to make sense of what I was saying. In the end, I think I needed a change of school uniform. I really don't know what happened after that.

Well i dont know where to start Basically i havent run for a year because of foot injury so i was LOW on fitness. In college we had practical with my tutor who pushes you hard through training sessions, anyway i was doing fine competing with everyone .... then the hill sprints came and we had to do 8 sprints repetitively without rest. I had to dive over the line 3 times to complete it anyway i JUST managed to get through it then. I was lieing down for about 20 minutes then i could tell i was going to throw up infront of people so i was trying to walk away but my teacher called me over and i was ignoring him trying to get as far away as possible. Then he ran up to me and i threw up 5 times infront of people . Not the end of it.

Anyway after about another 10 minutes i went dizzy and i somehow managed to walk from my class to the toilet. Immediately i could feel a shit coming out so i quickly ran into the toilet and i couldnt pull my trousers done quick enough so shit went onto my boxers before i could get my ass onto the toilet. My boxers were wet and brown Then i went so dizzy I FELL ASLEEP on the toilet for 30 minutes. I woke up and it was rock hard shit. So i cleaned up as much as i could then i just went home and went to sleep. Fuck that

SBSP wrote:Why does messing your pants have to be part of every story?

I have a few stories from primary school. This is the first one that comes to mind:

One time I went home from lunch. When I came back, they had already started class. I left my jacket where they were kept and went outside to find my mum. It was raining, and she had obviously already left. I tried singing "Rain, rain, go away," but it didn't work (). When we enter from there, we have to knock on a window for another classroom. Usually it's empty when you come on time, but now there are kids in there. The teacher opens the door and takes me to the headmaster. I remember being wet and cold, and that the headmaster was trying to make sense of what I was saying. In the end, I think I needed a change of school uniform. I really don't know what happened after that.

I don't get it.

Filippo Inzaghi wrote:Well i dont know where to start Basically i havent run for a year because of foot injury so i was LOW on fitness. In college we had practical with my tutor who pushes you hard through training sessions, anyway i was doing fine competing with everyone .... then the hill sprints came and we had to do 8 sprints repetitively without rest. I had to dive over the line 3 times to complete it anyway i JUST managed to get through it then. I was lieing down for about 20 minutes then i could tell i was going to throw up infront of people so i was trying to walk away but my teacher called me over and i was ignoring him trying to get as far away as possible. Then he ran up to me and i threw up 5 times infront of people . Not the end of it.

Anyway after about another 10 minutes i went dizzy and i somehow managed to walk from my class to the toilet. Immediately i could feel a shit coming out so i quickly ran into the toilet and i couldnt pull my trousers done quick enough so shit went onto my boxers before i could get my ass onto the toilet. My boxers were wet and brown Then i went so dizzy I FELL ASLEEP on the toilet for 30 minutes. I woke up and it was rock hard shit. So i cleaned up as much as i could then i just went home and went to sleep. Fuck that

I remember doing that when I was in college doing my BTEC Sport Diploma. We had loads of fitness tests in the GYM. And one of them was pedal on the bike for 2 minutes FLAT OUT. Push as hard as can.

And Si our tutor said to us, if use put a 100% into this, use will be sick. So we all started laughing taking the piss. Me the big man goes "Fit as a butchers dog me Si, not a chance a bit of sick will come out of me"

Any way 8 of us got on the bikes all in a line. WELL, it must of been the worst 2 minutes of my life and after that, the worst 0 minutes.

I got off the bike, my legs were like Jelly, and Si was just laughing his head off and we said what you laughing at and he said give it a minute and I guarantee you, use will all be throwing up. 2 minutes later 5 of us ran out of GYM and were being sick on the pavement outside.

Ah, it was horrible, we all had to rush down to the college shop and get a bottle water, we were all like wounded animals sitting down motionless.

So funny.

Dean wrote:

Filippo Inzaghi wrote:Well i dont know where to start Basically i havent run for a year because of foot injury so i was LOW on fitness. In college we had practical with my tutor who pushes you hard through training sessions, anyway i was doing fine competing with everyone .... then the hill sprints came and we had to do 8 sprints repetitively without rest. I had to dive over the line 3 times to complete it anyway i JUST managed to get through it then. I was lieing down for about 20 minutes then i could tell i was going to throw up infront of people so i was trying to walk away but my teacher called me over and i was ignoring him trying to get as far away as possible. Then he ran up to me and i threw up 5 times infront of people . Not the end of it.

Anyway after about another 10 minutes i went dizzy and i somehow managed to walk from my class to the toilet. Immediately i could feel a shit coming out so i quickly ran into the toilet and i couldnt pull my trousers done quick enough so shit went onto my boxers before i could get my ass onto the toilet. My boxers were wet and brown Then i went so dizzy I FELL ASLEEP on the toilet for 30 minutes. I woke up and it was rock hard shit. So i cleaned up as much as i could then i just went home and went to sleep. Fuck that

I remember doing that when I was in college doing my BTEC Sport Diploma. We had loads of fitness tests in the GYM. And one of them was pedal on the bike for 2 minutes FLAT OUT. Push as hard as can.

And Si our tutor said to us, if use put a 100% into this, use will be sick. So we all started laughing taking the piss. Me the big man goes "Fit as a butchers dog me Si, not a chance a bit of sick will come out of me"

Any way 8 of us got on the bikes all in a line. WELL, it must of been the worst 2 minutes of my life and after that, the worst 0 minutes.

I got off the bike, my legs were like Jelly, and Si was just laughing his head off and we said what you laughing at and he said give it a minute and I guarantee you, use will all be throwing up. 2 minutes later 5 of us ran out of GYM and were being sick on the pavement outside.

Ah, it was horrible, we all had to rush down to the college shop and get a bottle water, we were all like wounded animals sitting down motionless.

So funny.

My breakfast come flying out Thing is it never occurred to me i could be sick if i pushed myself too far the dizziness was the worst part i was so close to just balancing myself on some random person infront

Yeah if you really really push yourself to the absolute limit, you go all dizzy and be sick, it's horrible and it doesn't go away for a good 30 to 45 minutes.

It's even pushing yourself beyond the limit. I'll never do it again that's for sure.

only movie that ever made me cry, Marley and Me! god damnit it was so adorable and so sad and I watched it with my mom and dad and they didn't cry and were like "uhhh..you alright over there?" I couldn't keep it in.

I only cried the first time I saw Mufasa die.

Then again, I think I only watched it once. Movies shouldn't do that to you.

i cried watching the pokemon movie

I watch two bees having sex on the school field in Year 5.

I've been sick from running loads, used to do it every pre-season for rugby

Worst time was when I had to stop running and this ex-military guy was having a massive go at me for stopping and I had to try and explain that I was going to be sick while feeling really sick.

Polska is a peado.

I shat myself before but the story isn't as funny as Dean's and Theeeooo's.

Francis Albert wrote:I used to be the commentator when playing FIFA. 'Till about I was about 15.

To be honest, I still do it now.

Other ones... hmm...

This is true by the way.

I was at a funeral, bout 2 years ago. But the night before it'd been my nephews communion so I'd been drinking all day, woke up for the funeral with a MASSIVE MASSIVE hangover. Anyway we're walking to the church and I needed to be sick so so bad, but I also needed a shit.

I thought it was my lucky day, there was portable toilets near by the church so I dived in, started to bork, but because I was tensing that hard to get the ale out of me, I shit meself because I needed a shit.

A full turd came out me ass and on to me boxies, I really couldn't be assed doing anything so I just slowly walked into the church with a shit in my pants, and when I sat down it squashed on my ass cheeks, let me tell you it fucking stunk the church out. I was so embarrassed, but no one noticed it was me. Then my auntie who was sitting next to me, like turned her head and was jus' looking at me for a few moments and went "Have you shit yourself"

I broke out into a silent laugh and went red, but denied it the whole time. It was horrible but also so funny at the same time. Any way, got home and put it this way, I didn't see the fucking boxies again, they got put in a bin bag and thrown away.

I occasionally commentate on my FIFA games

Christ, why do so many of you shit yourself?

I did it once when I was like 6, but it seems like the most horrible thing imaginable to me right now.

Zzonked wrote:Christ, why do so many of you shit yourself?

I did it once when I was like 6, but it seems like the most horrible thing imaginable to me right now.

It is, I was pissed tbf.

I cried at the end of the last episode of the original Gladiators.

Zzonked wrote:Christ, why do so many of you shit yourself?

I did it once when I was like 6, but it seems like the most horrible thing imaginable to me right now.

I dont pick when i get the runs , didnt expect it especially after throwing up