50 Shades of Playmaker

CHAPTER 1

Crump's trousers were slowly slid off, as the blonde beauty he had bagged in Maga began to go down towards his lower regions. Crump's face displayed both a picture of delight, and nerves. This was to be his first sexual interaction. The blonde beauty wrapped her juicy lips around his frothing bellend, but at the same time she began to slide her finger up his arsehole.
"NO!" Crump screamed.
"I have hemorrhoids", he weeped.

------------------

CHAPTER 2

"I'll take your virginity" the pretty brunette said to SBSP.
SBSP ejaculated twice within six seconds after hearing these words, yet words never left his lips.
"Aww, don't be shy" the busty brunette laughed.
She took off her top and moved closer to SBSP. SBSP then plucked up some courage, and asked her for a hug.
He nervously stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around her, and then quickly jumped back.
"What is it?" the brunette asked.
"Your breasts. They're in the way" a shocked SBSP said.

------------------

CHAPTER 3

It was a standard drunken night for most in Birmingham, but for the young chap Bent, he was about to free himself from the dreaded friend zone, and finally get laid. The girl in question had eyes as blue as a Caribbean lagoon, and lips as juicy mangos. She herself wasn't a virgin. In fact, she had been pounded plenty of times before. Unknown to Bent, this was to be a one-off pity fuck.
They stumbled into her room, both a bit wavey after a WKD-fuelled night.
"Lick my pussy", she slurred.
Bent did as he was told, and slipped and slurped his tongue in an out of her pink, moist, vagina.
"Fuck me!" she screamed.
Bent didn't need any more encouragement. He licked his lips, forgetting about her vaginal juices covering his tongue, and he quickly unzipped her laptop bag, took out her laptop, and logged onto the Playmaker.
"What the fuck are you doing?" the young girl asked in shock.
"I'm just going to ask in the chat thread whether I should use a condom or not" a hapless Bent replied.

-------------------

Crump's entry: CHAPTER 4

As Jelavic moved closer towards the smacked up Scots women, her eyes glazed over, Jela not sure whether this was because of the size of his throbbing piss wand or the fact she had just snorted bath salts. As she went to put her cucumber cavity around Jela's sperm cannon, a sudden halt came to Jela, his throbbing piss wand deflated to that of a floppy cumberland sausage, he saw a Celtic badge tattooed on the woman's arse.

----------------------

CHAPTER 5

Polska slams down a young brunette onto his bed, and rips open his shirt with the same ferocity as Jakub Błaszczykowski's goal against Russia at Euro 2012. He proceeds to take off her top, in a more gentle manner than he took off his own.
"As gentle as the touch of Ludovic Obraniak. You're getting a good night tonight baby" Polska proudly proclaimed.
He began to slowly kiss her on the neck, slowly moving down towards her succulent breasts, whilst his hands slowly undid her bra strap. But then all of a sudden, his head quickly jolted down to her vagina, and she screamed.
"I get down quicker than Grzegorz Sandomierski, a rising Polish star!" Polska reassured this scared, and fearful looking brunette.

---------------------

Pls add to my story with your own little stories, mf's

You are a fucking moron.

Remember that Braad bloke, Man Utd fan that used to always post in the FM thread?

Well, anyway ... Does anyone remember him, out of nowhere coming out with something like: "i took this beautiful girl I know, down to the lake by me, it was a beautiful day ... then we spooned and stuff.

I and a few others tortured him with it for weeks.

As Jelavic moved closer towards the smacked up Scots women, her eyes glazed over, Jela not sure whether this was because of the size of his throbbing piss wand or the fact she had just snorted bath salts. As she went to put her cucumber cavity around Jela's sperm cannon, a sudden halt came to Jela, his throbbing piss wand deflated to that of a floppy cumberland sausage, he saw a Celtic badge tattooed on the woman's arse.

It was a standard drunken night for most in Birmingham, but for the young chap Bent, he was about to free himself from the dreaded friend zone, and finally get laid. The girl in question had eyes as blue as a Caribbean lagoon, and lips as juicy as mangos. She herself wasn't a virgin. In fact, she had been pounded plenty of times before. Unknown to Bent, this was to be a one-off pity fuck.
They stumbled into her room, both a bit wavey after a WKD-fuelled night.
"Lick my pussy", she slurred.
Bent did as he was told, and slipped and slurped his tongue in an out of her pink, moist, vagina.
"Fuck me!" she screamed.
Bent didn't need any more encouragement. He licked his lips, forgetting about her vaginal juices covering his tongue, and he quickly unzipped her laptop bag, took out her laptop, and logged onto the Playmaker.
"What the fuck are you doing?" the young girl asked in shock.
"I'm just going to ask in the chat thread whether I should use a condom or not" a hapless Bent replied.

Forest wrote:It was a standard drunken night for most in Birmingham, but for the young chap Bent, he was about to free himself from the dreaded friend zone, and finally get laid. The girl in question had eyes as blue as a Caribbean lagoon, and lips as juicy as mangos. She herself wasn't a virgin. In fact, she had been pounded plenty of times before. Unknown to Bent, this was to be a one-off pity fuck.
They stumbled into her room, both a bit wavey after a WKD-fuelled night.
"Lick my pussy", she slurred.
Bent did as he was told, and slipped and slurped his tongue in an out of her pink, moist, vagina.
"Fuck me!" she screamed.
Bent didn't need any more encouragement. He licked his lips, forgetting about her vaginal juices covering his tongue, and he quickly unzipped her laptop bag, took out her laptop, and logged onto the Playmaker.
"What the fuck are you doing?" the young girl asked in shock.
"I'm just going to ask in the chat thread whether I should use a condom or not" a hapless Bent replied.

Nice idea.

Forest wrote:It was a standard drunken night for most in Birmingham, but for the young chap Bent, he was about to free himself from the dreaded friend zone, and finally get laid. The girl in question had eyes as blue as a Caribbean lagoon, and lips as juicy as mangos. She herself wasn't a virgin. In fact, she had been pounded plenty of times before. Unknown to Bent, this was to be a one-off pity fuck.
They stumbled into her room, both a bit wavey after a WKD-fuelled night.
"Lick my pussy", she slurred.
Bent did as he was told, and slipped and slurped his tongue in an out of her pink, moist, vagina.
"Fuck me!" she screamed.
Bent didn't need any more encouragement. He licked his lips, forgetting about her vaginal juices covering his tongue, and he quickly unzipped her laptop bag, took out her laptop, and logged onto the Playmaker.
"What the fuck are you doing?" the young girl asked in shock.
"I'm just going to ask in the chat thread whether I should use a condom or not" a hapless Bent replied.

We should just end the thread right here, this entry can't be topped.

Forest wrote:It was a standard drunken night for most in Birmingham, but for the young chap Bent, he was about to free himself from the dreaded friend zone, and finally get laid. The girl in question had eyes as blue as a Caribbean lagoon, and lips as juicy as mangos. She herself wasn't a virgin. In fact, she had been pounded plenty of times before. Unknown to Bent, this was to be a one-off pity fuck.
They stumbled into her room, both a bit wavey after a WKD-fuelled night.
"Lick my pussy", she slurred.
Bent did as he was told, and slipped and slurped his tongue in an out of her pink, moist, vagina.
"Fuck me!" she screamed.
Bent didn't need any more encouragement. He licked his lips, forgetting about her vaginal juices covering his tongue, and he quickly unzipped her laptop bag, took out her laptop, and logged onto the Playmaker.
"What the fuck are you doing?" the young girl asked in shock.
"I'm just going to ask in the chat thread whether I should use a condom or not" a hapless Bent replied.

What was that bullshit story someone posted about speaking to a girl on facebook and then her brother saying he'd come round with an axe or something?

The SBSP and Bent ones were the funniest.

Bent one

Jay wrote:What was that bullshit story someone posted about speaking to a girl on facebook and then her brother saying he'd come round with an axe or something?

ClarkY told that one.

Polska slams down a young brunette onto his bed, and rips open his shirt with the same ferocity as Jakub Błaszczykowski's goal against Russia at Euro 2012. He proceeds to take off her top, in a more gentle manner than he took off his own.
"As gentle as the touch of Ludovic Obraniak. You're getting a good night tonight baby" Polska proudly proclaimed.
He began to slowly kiss her on the neck, slowly moving down towards her succulent breasts, whilst his hands slowly undid her bra strap. But then all of a sudden, his head quickly jolted down to her vagina, and she screamed.
"I get down quicker than Grzegorz Sandomierski, a rising Polish star!" Polska reassured this scared, and fearful looking brunette.

Forest wrote:Polska slams down a young brunette onto his bed, and rips open his shirt with the same ferocity as Jakub Błaszczykowski's goal against Russia at Euro 2012. He proceeds to take off her top, in a more gentle manner than he took off his own.
"As gentle as the touch of Ludovic Obraniak. You're getting a good night tonight baby" Polska proudly proclaimed.
He began to slowly kiss her on the neck, slowly moving down towards her succulent breasts, whilst his hands slowly undid her bra strap. But then all of a sudden, his head quickly jolted down to her vagina, and she screamed.
"I get down quicker than Grzegorz Sandomierski, a rising Polish star!" Polska reassured this scared, and fearful looking brunette.

I remember he used to always ho on about him.

Forest wrote:It was a standard drunken night for most in Birmingham, but for the young chap Bent, he was about to free himself from the dreaded friend zone, and finally get laid. The girl in question had eyes as blue as a Caribbean lagoon, and lips as juicy as mangos. She herself wasn't a virgin. In fact, she had been pounded plenty of times before. Unknown to Bent, this was to be a one-off pity fuck.
They stumbled into her room, both a bit wavey after a WKD-fuelled night.
"Lick my pussy", she slurred.
Bent did as he was told, and slipped and slurped his tongue in an out of her pink, moist, vagina.
"Fuck me!" she screamed.
Bent didn't need any more encouragement. He licked his lips, forgetting about her vaginal juices covering his tongue, and he quickly unzipped her laptop bag, took out her laptop, and logged onto the Playmaker.
"What the fuck are you doing?" the young girl asked in shock.
"I'm just going to ask in the chat thread whether I should use a condom or not" a hapless Bent replied.

You have a future in comedy mf.

these are hilarious


Weirdly want one about myself

need a Chip one

I had little hope for this thread, but

Fuuckkk just leave him to do it and let it be naturally funny instead of asking him to write one about you

But one about me would be funny

inb4 one with Ahly and a rabbit.

One about Leo would be hilarious.

Trent wrote:One about Leo would be hilarious.

paedophilia, necrophilia and zoophilia. no thanks