Woy's twip to Poland and Ukwaine!

Woy's First News Conference


Hello Roy, you're sat there as the new England manager. Tell us how it feels?

Hello. Well, it feels gweat. This is my dweam to be sat here as England manager.

We've got to ask, but how do you think the Liverpool players will treat you in the squad? Because to us it seemed like Gerrard purposely got you the sack by missing a penalty against Blackburn.

I think that is vewy unfair of you. Stevie is a fantastic pwoffesional and wouldn't do such a thing. I don't think I will be tweated negatively at all. I think the players will welcome me with open arms.

As you know, John Terry is going to be facing court soon because he's a racist twat. How will that effect the black players in the England squad, especially Rio who's brother it was that Terry abused?

erm, erm well, I will sit down with John and then Wio this week and talk about this. But John will most definitely be in my squad if fit. As for Wio, I'm not too sure yet. His presence could cause unwest in the camp. I don't think any other other black players will have problems. Ashley Cole is a bit of a cunt himself isn't he? Harharhar

Haha yes he is. Will there be any surprise selections in the squad, maybe a few West Brom players? Any changes in formation perhaps?

Well I'm keeping the cards close to my chest wegarding squad selection. It is vital we keep the balance of this squad wight bec...

Sorry, did you just say you want to keep the majority of the squad 'White'?

No I did not say that. I said 'wight'. As I was saying. It is important we keep the balance wight as I have came into this job midway thwough qualifying so it's best not to upset the apple cart. We have 5 games left to qualify.

Ok, so what sort of tactics will you look to employ?

Well I have been studying past England managers and watching videos of their teams to twy and find some winning philosophy. The most inspiwational was definitely Mike Bassett. I will be looking to adopt many of his appwoaches to the way I manage the team, so you can expect to see us playing four, four, fucking two.

Hmmm, interesting. You have been mocked today by The Sun, what are your thoughts on that?

I am yet to see it actually do you have a copy on you?

Yes, here...



Fucking bastards. Do people in this countwy not know I am the English Fergie? I find it disgwaceful how a leading paper could do that.

It is quite bad, even by The Sun's standards. One last question before we go. New England captain. Who is it?

It was an easy choice this. Stevie G will assist me in leading us to glowy in Poland and Ukwaine!

Woy's Widiculous Squad



When asked on the matter, all Woy had to say was 'Wio is out for footballing weasons'. Rio isn't the only big name to be dropped. Premier League winner, Micah Richards is also out, along with in-form stars such as Aaron Lennon and Michael Carrick; with Stewart Downing and Jordan Henderson being preferred despite being horrendous for Liverpool this season.

There's also some strange inclusions in the squad. 18 year old Jack Butland, who has just spent the season on loan at League 2 Cheltenham is called up, despite not playing a single game for his parent club; Championship side Birmingham. It's safe to say, that Argentina must be shivering in their boots ahead of Saturday's friendly. Full squad is below.

Roy Hodgson's England career got off to a losing start yesterday, as England were defeated 2-1 by Argentina. It was a new look England side, with Oxlade-Chamberlain making his debut, and Liverpool midfielder Jordan Henderson winning only his 2nd Cap for the Three Lions.

England started the game well, enjoying the majority of possession and creating the most chances. But Argentina went into Half Time at 1-0 up, thanks to a powerful effort from Manchester City forward, Carlos Tevez. Roy Hodgson made 6 changes at the interval, bringing on Rob Green, Phil Jones, Theo Walcott, Gareth Barry, Jordan Henderson and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.

And it didn't take long for the Ox to grab his first goal for England, after he rounded the keeper on 49 minutes and cooly slotted home. The big occasion didn't unnerve him, and he looks like a great prospect for the future. England continued to dominate in possession but couldn't find another goal. England were behind again on 68 minutes, Carlos Tevez popping up again to place a curled effort past the hands of Rob Green. England pushed on looking for an equalizer, and they nearly had it in the 91st minute, Wayne Rooney's toe-poked effort cleared off the line. Final score, England 1-2 Argentina.



- 1-2 -

Rio out again. 'Footballing reasons'

FORMER England captain, Rio Ferdinand, has once again been left out of Woy Hodgson's squad for the Euro 2012 Qualifiers against Bulgaria and Wales. And once, again, Woy has said it is because of footballing reasons. Baffled by the decision, Rio took to Twitter to vent his anger.




Everybody knows that it is not due to football reasons. Rio has just played the majority of the season for Manchester United, making his most appearances for a good couple of years, putting in some superb performances as they fell short in the title race. The real reason is John Terry (below)




The racist twat is already reportedly causing unrest between the black players and the white players in the England squad, with Kyle Walker being dropped from the latest team, and replaced with white striker, and racist supporter, Andy Carroll. On the coach to England games, the back seat only hosts the black players, showing links to South Africa's apartheid. Terry is the leader of all this, and he manipulates the other white non-Liverpool players into following his ways. We say non-Liverpool players, because they already share John Terry's ways.