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Jordan Henderchip
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    Bloke went down on his misses and found a kitten

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    Bloke went down on his misses and found a kitten Empty Bloke went down on his misses and found a kitten

    Post by Guest Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:56 am

    http://www.sundaysport.com/?p=1292


    Bloke went down on his misses and found a kitten Fat2
    WHEN Mandy Mountain’s latest fella recoiled in horror while giving her oral pleasure, she wondered what on earth was wrong.

    Only when the ashen-faced bloke emerged from between her thunderous thighs clutching the flattened remains of a KITTEN did she realise this was no ordinary bedroom mishap.

    The 55-stone blubbergut had earlier SQUASHED the unfortunate mog and its grisly fate only came to light when her beau discovered the pancake -flat cat in her folds of flab.

    Mandy, 25, revealed: “Poor little Buttons must have suffocated when I rolled over. I never even noticed. “It wasn’t even my kitten – I was looking after him for my neighbours.

    “My boyfriend was going down on me when he shrieked and leapt back, sobbing.

    DEAD

    “He must have been in there dead for some time, at least three or hour hours. “We gave him a proper burial, and broke the news to my neighbours. But I feel so terrible about it. I can’t apologise enough.
    “And I’m now willing to try anything to lose some weight. This is the wake-up call I needed.”

    But Mandy – real name Amanda Simmons – makes a decent living from being so big. She earns up to £60,000 a year posing for men with a fetish for larger ladies.

    The 64EE babe, from Charleston, West Virginia, has to scoff a staggering 20,000 calories a day in order to maintain her terrifying tonnage.

    That’s the equivalent of 36 Big Mac burgers, or twelve giant pepperoni pizzas – every single day.

    Mandy’s chunky thighs measure an amazing six feet in circumference – the same size as a fully-grown larch. The model explained: “I’ve never had a real job, but I’ve always been able to make money modelling.

    “Men love my buttery lumps and bumps. And I enjoy being worshipped like some sort of massive goddess.

    “But I also love animals. I’d never even hurt a fly. So to accidentally kill a gorgeous little kitten is too much for me to take.

    “And my boyfriend Clint’s taken it bad too. He’s started wetting again.”
    Cadbury
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    Post by Cadbury Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:57 am

    Hol shit.
    Pippo
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    Post by Pippo Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:06 am

    Feel bad for Clint. Hope he stops wetting himself soon.



    And RIP Kitten.
    Raider
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    Post by Raider Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:06 am

    RIP
    Mason
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    Post by Mason Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:11 am

    Bloke went down on his misses and found a kitten 70955
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    Post by Guest Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:38 am

    Gonna assume this isn't real.
    Jordi
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    Post by Jordi Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:10 am

    What the fuck is that?!
    Danny
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    Post by Danny Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:21 am

    She's got a boyfriend who goes down on her? Good lord. Neutral
    The Zlatan
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    Post by The Zlatan Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:31 am

    dem cankles

    Bloke went down on his misses and found a kitten 22lxkk
    SBSP
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    Post by SBSP Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:32 am

    How did she manage to get her toes painted?
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    Post by Steadman Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:35 am

    SBSP wrote:How did she manage to get her toes painted?
    That's not paint, it's lack of blood circulation.
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    Post by SBSP Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:36 am

    The 64EE babe, from Charleston, West Virginia, has to scoff a staggering 20,000 calories a day in order to maintain her terrifying tonnage.
    WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO MAINTAIN IT?????
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    Post by Guest Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:39 am

    No.. that can't be real
    ShakerMatty
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    Post by ShakerMatty Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:41 am

    “And my boyfriend Clint’s taken it bad too. He’s started wetting again.”

    rofl
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    Post by SBSP Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:43 am

    I really think I'm going to be sick. sick
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    Post by Danny Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:45 am

    Burytilidie wrote:“And my boyfriend Clint’s taken it bad too. He’s started wetting again.”

    rofl
    Yeah, I got to that bit and I was like, na this is fake. Laughing
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    Post by Ham. Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:45 am

    The 64EE babe

    Neutral ROFL
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    Post by Guest Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:46 am

    it's in a newspaper, how can it be fake?
    Pippo
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    Post by Pippo Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:48 am

    Honestly, she's not that bad. Just a bit on the big side.
    Jordan Henderchip
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    Post by Jordan Henderchip Mon Nov 21, 2011 10:42 am

    Pippo Inzaghi wrote:Honestly, she's not that bad. Just a bit on the big side.

    I agree with Pip, also I hope poor Clint gets better soon Sad
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    Post by Guest Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:30 am

    If we bought her rolls of fat, how many Somalian children can we feed?
    Childish Logic
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    Post by Childish Logic Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:32 am

    Disgusting.

    polska. wrote:If we bought her rolls of fat, how many Somalian children can we feed?

    over 9000
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    Post by SBSP Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:33 am

    polska. wrote:If we bought her rolls of fat, how many Somalian children can we feed?
    #occupymandy
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    Post by Phadunkin Donuts Mon Nov 21, 2011 1:02 pm

    pic of boyfriend is needed
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    Post by Guest Mon Nov 21, 2011 3:31 pm

    When I got to the part about her boyfriend wetting her bed, I knew it was fake. Laughing

    SBSP wrote:
    The 64EE babe, from Charleston, West Virginia, has to scoff a staggering 20,000 calories a day in order to maintain her terrifying tonnage.
    WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO MAINTAIN IT?????

    She gets paid £60,000 a year, that's why.
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    Post by Mustangt125 Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:18 pm

    Chris youre on quite the thread starting binge. Take a nap.
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    Post by Guest Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:36 pm

    At least Clint was able to find a pussy in there.
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    Post by Zzonked Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:04 pm

    This story is so weird. Other than the obvious, she's 25? She looks about 40. £60k a year just for being fat? That seems like a cool lifestyle if you don't mind not being able to see your feet. Bet there's not much of a market for 55 stone men though.

    Mustangt125 wrote:Chris youre on quite the thread starting binge. Take a nap.

    Chris's threads not worthy
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    Post by Guest Mon Nov 21, 2011 9:08 pm

    ''The 64EE babe''

    rofl Quality.

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