Man Assaults Ex-Wife Because...

Facebook user Benito Apolinar, who hails from the great state of Texas, had posted a loving status update to his Facebook page on the anniversary of his mother's death. Then he waited for the "likes" to roll in. You know how that is: One finds a strange sense of fulfillment in near-meaningless clicks of approval from friends and acquaintances and friends of acquaintances.

Well, the "like" from Dolores Apolinar, Benito's estranged wife, never came. That led to a confrontation. ("Your passive-aggressive withholding of a Facebook 'like' is the social media equivalent of spitting on my dear mother's grave, you heinous and unfeeling witch!" he did not say, but could have.)

Whatever words were exchanged, it quickly escalated into a physical altercation, during which Benito "hit" Dolores and "pulled her hair," according to the criminal complaint. Now he's facing battery charges.

Well, Mark Zuckerberg did say his mission with Facebook was to "make the world more connected."

Benito (12:51 pm)
Hey, didn't you see that my mom died?

Dolores (2:14 pm)
No, I didn't see that. I'm sorry for your loss.

Benito (2:15 pm)
What does that mean, "I'm sorry for your loss"? That's like what a stranger says.

Dolores (2:58 pm)
What did you want me to say?

Benito (2:59 pm)
Well, for one thing, you could "like" the comment I made on my page about her passing.

Dolores (4:17 pm)
That would seem weird to me. For one thing, I don't 'like' that your mother died or that you're sad. Facebook needs an 'I grieve with you' button. Also, I should have mentioned this to you before, but I don't read your status updates.

Benito (4:19 pm)
What?! You don't read my updates? And that crack about the "I grieve with you" button. Ha fucking ha. Also, how come it takes you so long to respond?

Dolores (6:15 pm)
I have a life, Ben. You're no longer part of it. Stop acting so estrange.

TorquayFan wrote:Shouldn't it be him hitting the people who liked it?