Arsenal FC - The Uprise

Fabregas and Nasri locked in foul-mouthed rant between Crumpé

Just DAYS after Crumpe taking control of Arsenal an exodus is set to rise above Arsenal. It was reported that during pre-season training, a foul-mouthed rant was launched between Crumpe, Nasri and Fabregas. It was an open session day and numerous reporters were there, however The Sun caught it all. It started as usual when Crumpe was drilling his team, Fabregas was slacking and one member of the Arsenal team said "Can't handle the heat, better get used to Barcelona". This didn't go down well with Fabregas before a brawl erupted on the training grounds, it's rumoured to be the sly comment made by Eboue.

Fabregas and Eboue exchanged unpleasentries, Fabregas was reported to have replied: "Maybe I will get used to Barca, a club with ambition and soul, we win **** all and have a **** unproven manager", Crumpe didn't take kindly and was held back by Almunia. In the heat of all this Nasri and Sagna emerged from the corner, It went quiet and Nasri said "Don't Baccy, please". Crumpe, in a ferocious mood, was not to be messed with, he dismissed training and was left with Nasri, Fabregas and Sagna. Sagna shouted whilst spinning around belowing across the ground: "He's handed in a transfer request, he's asked City to put in a bid, he said our club lacked ambition and we won't be going anywhere". Hot headed Crumpé replied, again in a mood to put Hulk to shame with: "Why don't you two money grabbing, stuck up, useless, heartless **** **** off, you're getting sold". Crumpe stormed off the pitch, wheel spinning and screeching his Bentley's tires into the ground heading home.

Dark days at Arsenal lay ahead, more to follow.

SBSP wrote:

Breaking news is to come.

Any signings?

Jelavic18|RFC wrote:Any signings?

Coming up at 12:30am.

Arsenal linked with surprise star winger... more to follow at 12.30am

Can't wait that long.

The fuck is it?

Thought it was big?

crump wrote:

Arsenal Manager Crumpé Launches £35m Bid on Kaka

Just hours after bidding for Gervinho, TV has now sensationally big £35m for Brazilian star Kaka, Kaka openly admitted weeks ago that he wanted out, and Arsenal have launched for a swoop that was out of the blue, this was certainly unexpected, and could most definitely hint the end of Fabregas and Nasri's Arsenal story.

Next update: Tomorrow

Tis ya bed time.

Why you drinking coffee before bed time?

I'm loving this, keep it up .

If you get sacked...

You predicted the future = Gervinho!








Even though it was inevitable.

Phil: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO

Jeff: Well it's gone wrong for someone here early on who is it Phil?

Phil: Unbelievable Jeff, we're 5 mintues in, ARSENAL GIVE A PENALTY AWAY, Duff is through, Sagna takes him down, SILLY CHALLENGE JEFF, It's a red card.... penalty, SAVED... NO... YES.... YES JEFF IT'S 1-0. It's scrappy but Dempsey won't care Jeff, BIG JOB for Arsenal to do now....

74th Minute

Phil: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL JEFF, GOAL, It's KIERAN GIBBS JEFF, He's beat one player, cuts inside from the halfway line, the Arsenal players are SCREAMING FOR THE BALL, he keeps going, he chips it over the top and it's new boy GERVINHO, HE MAY JUST HAVE SAVED CRUMPE'S JOB. 1-1 GAME ON JEFF.

88th minute...

Phil: CORNER ARSENAL, SCZESZNY IS UP, it's a beautiful corner Jeff, the keeper gets a touch on it, it's laid into the box, THE BALLS FLYING ACROSS THE BOX, SCZESZNY'S ON THE FLOOR, CRUMPES SHOUTING ON THE TOUCHLINE, EVERY ARSENAL FAN IS CROSSING THEIR LEGS, VERMAELANS UP THERE ALL UP.... BALL FALLS DOWN........

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES IT'S GARY CAHILL.... NEW BOY CAHILL GETS A GOAL, IT'S SCRAPPY IT'S DAPPY BUT OH SHAGGY WILL THAT DO, CRUMPE'S JOB IS SAVED 2-1 JEFF UNVELIVEABLE GAME.

93rd Minute...

Phil: PENALTY FULHAM.... It's OUTRAGEOUS JEFF, EBOUE GETS BROUGHT ON, HE TAKES DOWN DEMPSEY, THERE'S NO NEED, SECOND RED CARD FOR ARSENAL, EBOUE THE CULPRIT, CRUMPE IS FURIOUS.

THE REFEREE BLOWS.... OHHHHHHHHHH HE'S HIT THE POST.... SCZESZNY IS ON THE FLOOR... DAMIEN DUFF HAS AN OPEN GOAL TO GET CRUMPE SACKED... HE'S MISSED JEFF. HE'S MISSED. 5 YARDS OUT ON THE BOUNCE AT AN ANGLE AND MARK HUGHES IS FURIOUS.

CRUMPE RUNS ON THE PITCH THE WHISTLE BLOWS AND MARK HUGHES IS FURIOUS.

TOESTE CRUMPE HAS REMAINED ARSENAL MANAGER.

Why does he say 'Jeff' about twice in every sentence?

Hahaha! Can actually picture all of that. That was actually class .

So you risked getting sacked after 1 game?

crump wrote:

Crumpé Has Busy Summer As The Squad Is Strengthened

Crumpe had a busy summer, seeing players both come and go. Players such as Clichy, Bendtner, Freeman, Denilson and Henderson left, TC crumps them for their services. Player joined such as Cahill and Gervinho, although mixed reviews were received for these signings.

Successful Pre-Season Gives Lets Gunners To Start Hot

An unbeaten pre-season for Crumpe meant he was highly pleased, also Crumpe stressted to us (The Guardian): "The Sun talk out their ****ing *****, our team is fine and nothing went on between the team in training, Kaka? ****ing hell, if I wanted an injury prone midfielder I could snap Hargreaves up for a 1/4 of the price, our team is fine and The Sun can shove their paper up their *****". Crumpe racked up a 1-0 win vs Braga, with RvP scoring. They cruised past Levante 2-0, Diaby and Chamakh scored. Lastly, a 1-1 draw with Millwall was all that could be done, Lisbie opened the scoring, before Nasri equalised, however Smith was sent off for a dangerous foul on Almunia, Crumpe said after the game: "Typical Millwall, it's a pre-season for **** sakes."