My uncle heard that if you tell the council there was a fire in your house you get some money to help with the costs, So he lied and told them there was. A few days later he gets a knock at the door, he answers the door and the guy says he's here about the fire, so my uncle panics and goes up to the room he said there was a fire in, and thinks I have to make it looklike a fire, so he trashes the place, rubbing boot polish on the Walls, tearing the curtains boots his bed and breaks his toe in the process, so he comes down exhausted and with his room destroyed only to see the guy kneeling down fixing the electric fire in the living room, basically the guy had just come to fix the fire heard a massive ruckus upstairs and saw my uncle come down bleeding and exhausted, poor guy must have thought he was about to be murdered
+7
Mal
Jordi
The Zlatan
Cadbury
Zzonked
luke.
Sean
11 posters
Funny family stories
Sean-
- Posts : 33857
Age : 30
- Post n°1
Funny family stories
Do you have any funny stories you've been told about your family?
My uncle heard that if you tell the council there was a fire in your house you get some money to help with the costs, So he lied and told them there was. A few days later he gets a knock at the door, he answers the door and the guy says he's here about the fire, so my uncle panics and goes up to the room he said there was a fire in, and thinks I have to make it looklike a fire, so he trashes the place, rubbing boot polish on the Walls, tearing the curtains boots his bed and breaks his toe in the process, so he comes down exhausted and with his room destroyed only to see the guy kneeling down fixing the electric fire in the living room, basically the guy had just come to fix the fire heard a massive ruckus upstairs and saw my uncle come down bleeding and exhausted, poor guy must have thought he was about to be murdered
My uncle heard that if you tell the council there was a fire in your house you get some money to help with the costs, So he lied and told them there was. A few days later he gets a knock at the door, he answers the door and the guy says he's here about the fire, so my uncle panics and goes up to the room he said there was a fire in, and thinks I have to make it looklike a fire, so he trashes the place, rubbing boot polish on the Walls, tearing the curtains boots his bed and breaks his toe in the process, so he comes down exhausted and with his room destroyed only to see the guy kneeling down fixing the electric fire in the living room, basically the guy had just come to fix the fire heard a massive ruckus upstairs and saw my uncle come down bleeding and exhausted, poor guy must have thought he was about to be murdered
Zzonked-
- Posts : 24290
Age : 32
- Post n°3
Re: Funny family stories
When my dad was at uni he got pissed and fell asleep at the student union somehow.
When he woke up he was on a coach to London for a protest which had left from the SU. They had assumed that he was there to go with them so just put him on.
When he woke up he was on a coach to London for a protest which had left from the SU. They had assumed that he was there to go with them so just put him on.
Sean-
- Posts : 33857
Age : 30
- Post n°4
Re: Funny family stories
Once my granda ate an entire multi-pack of salt 'n' shakes, because he didn't realise you had to salt them yourself and kept thinking he got a dodgy packet
Cadbury-
- Posts : 23487
Age : 30
Location : Blackpool
Supports : Not Kenny.
- Post n°5
Re: Funny family stories
Sean wrote:Do you have any funny stories you've been told about your family?
My uncle heard that if you tell the council there was a fire in your house you get some money to help with the costs, So he lied and told them there was. A few days later he gets a knock at the door, he answers the door and the guy says he's here about the fire, so my uncle panics and goes up to the room he said there was a fire in, and thinks I have to make it looklike a fire, so he trashes the place, rubbing boot polish on the Walls, tearing the curtains boots his bed and breaks his toe in the process, so he comes down exhausted and with his room destroyed only to see the guy kneeling down fixing the electric fire in the living room, basically the guy had just come to fix the fire heard a massive ruckus upstairs and saw my uncle come down bleeding and exhausted, poor guy must have thought he was about to be murdered
Oh my god
The Zlatan-
- Posts : 10347
- Post n°6
Re: Funny family stories
Sean wrote:Once my granda ate an entire multi-pack of salt 'n' shakes, because he didn't realise you had to salt them yourself and kept thinking he got a dodgy packet
Guest- Guest
- Post n°7
Re: Funny family stories
In the late 70's my dad's friend an illegal immigrant got tired of the police raids, the chases and the round ups that where common practice back then so one day he said, "fuck it, I'm going back" after a round up ICE was boarding immigrants on to a bus that would send everyone back to their country of origin so my dad's friend runs out his house or whatever with luggage yelling at the ICE officers, "Im illegal! I'm illegal, No Speak English! Send me back Send me back!" the bus just left him. Supposedly he tried this two more times on different occasions before giving up.
Guest- Guest
- Post n°8
Re: Funny family stories
They like them.Ché Guayaba wrote:In the late 70's my dad's friend an illegal immigrant got tired of the police raids, the chases and the round ups that where common practice back then so one day he said, "fuck it, I'm going back" after a round up ICE was boarding immigrants on to a bus that would send everyone back to their country of origin so my dad's friend runs out his house or whatever with luggage yelling at the ICE officers, "Im illegal! I'm illegal, No Speak English! Send me back Send me back!" the bus just left him. Supposedly he tried this two more times on different occasions before giving up.
Jordi- .
- Posts : 36039
Age : 28
Supports : Saints
- Post n°9
Re: Funny family stories
Ché Guayaba wrote:In the late 70's my dad's friend an illegal immigrant got tired of the police raids, the chases and the round ups that where common practice back then so one day he said, "fuck it, I'm going back" after a round up ICE was boarding immigrants on to a bus that would send everyone back to their country of origin so my dad's friend runs out his house or whatever with luggage yelling at the ICE officers, "Im illegal! I'm illegal, No Speak English! Send me back Send me back!" the bus just left him. Supposedly he tried this two more times on different occasions before giving up.
Guest- Guest
- Post n°11
Re: Funny family stories
When I was 8, I went to Spain and my dad is really tanned so this women went up to him and started speaking in spanish, but he said "Sorry, I don't speak spanish" and she goes "Oh Lovely, Do you know where the Sushi bar is?" in a Northern accent. Was rather funny.
Jess-
- Posts : 4485
Age : 30
Location : Surrey
- Post n°13
Re: Funny family stories
Mum was meeting this woman called 'Virginia' for the first time. When she knocked on the door and opened it the first thing she said was 'Hello vagina!'
Also, when she worked as a nurse on a cancer unit, instead of writing pusy fluid, she wrote pussy fluid.
Also, when she worked as a nurse on a cancer unit, instead of writing pusy fluid, she wrote pussy fluid.
Zzonked-
- Posts : 24290
Age : 32
- Post n°14
Re: Funny family stories
kyro7 wrote:My nan died.
That's probably the only time someone saying that could make me laugh.
Guest- Guest
- Post n°16
Re: Funny family stories
My Grandad once bought Fairy Liquid from a shop, went outside and started squirting people with it.
Guest- Guest
- Post n°17
Re: Funny family stories
Dan wrote:My Grandad once bought Fairy Liquid from a shop, went outside and started squirting people with it.
Dan.
Guest- Guest
- Post n°18
Re: Funny family stories
My dad after he escaped Poland went to Italy and worked at a Polish camp (basically a place where Poles who escaped could stay and find work etc.) .. anyway, one time he and a couple of mates were tasked to clean and fix a frozen clocktower Tavganacco (NorthEastern Italy). My dad was an amateur watchmaker at the time, so everyone decided he would be the one to fix it even though the mechanics are different.
Anyway, long story short, my dad unscrewed something and the small hand of the clock got loose and fell down and broke a windshield of a car.
Anyway, long story short, my dad unscrewed something and the small hand of the clock got loose and fell down and broke a windshield of a car.
Guest- Guest
- Post n°19
Re: Funny family stories
Scott getting bummed by his step dad.
Probably not funny for him but I find it funny.
Probably not funny for him but I find it funny.
Guest- Guest
- Post n°20
Re: Funny family stories
Dan wrote:My Grandad once bought Fairy Liquid from a shop, went outside and started squirting people with it.
Dean-
- Posts : 9761
- Post n°21
Re: Funny family stories
I was crazy when I was a kid. I used to go round butting walls.
Guest- Guest
- Post n°22
Re: Funny family stories
Dean wrote:I was crazy when I was a kid. I used to go round butting walls.
Fuck that shit.
SBSP-
- Posts : 50010
- Post n°23
Re: Funny family stories
Wouldn't that hurt more?Jelavic18|RFC wrote:Dean wrote:I was crazy when I was a kid. I used to go round butting walls.
Fuck that shit.
Guest- Guest
- Post n°24
Re: Funny family stories
SBSP wrote:Wouldn't that hurt more?Jelavic18|RFC wrote:Dean wrote:I was crazy when I was a kid. I used to go round butting walls.
Fuck that shit.
Guest- Guest
- Post n°25
Re: Funny family stories
SBSP wrote:Wouldn't that hurt more?Jelavic18|RFC wrote:Dean wrote:I was crazy when I was a kid. I used to go round butting walls.
Fuck that shit.
Guest- Guest
- Post n°26
Re: Funny family stories
Zzonked wrote:When my dad was at uni he got pissed and fell asleep at the student union somehow.
When he woke up he was on a coach to London for a protest which had left from the SU. They had assumed that he was there to go with them so just put him on.
me and my mates when on the bus to protest becasue we wanted to go london for the day and wanted a free ride
Guest- Guest
- Post n°27
Re: Funny family stories
Got loads about the days me dad used to home and way with Liverpool FC in the 70's, 80's.
Might post some
Might post some
Kuled-
- Posts : 55235
Age : 27
- Post n°28
Re: Funny family stories
SBSP wrote:Wouldn't that hurt more?Jelavic18|RFC wrote:Dean wrote:I was crazy when I was a kid. I used to go round butting walls.
Fuck that shit.
Guest- Guest
- Post n°29
Re: Funny family stories
Blackpool Rule wrote:Zzonked wrote:When my dad was at uni he got pissed and fell asleep at the student union somehow.
When he woke up he was on a coach to London for a protest which had left from the SU. They had assumed that he was there to go with them so just put him on.
me and my mates when on the bus to protest becasue we wanted to go london for the day and wanted a free ride
Guest- Guest
- Post n°30
Re: Funny family stories
Sean wrote:Do you have any funny stories you've been told about your family?
My uncle heard that if you tell the council there was a fire in your house you get some money to help with the costs, So he lied and told them there was. A few days later he gets a knock at the door, he answers the door and the guy says he's here about the fire, so my uncle panics and goes up to the room he said there was a fire in, and thinks I have to make it looklike a fire, so he trashes the place, rubbing boot polish on the Walls, tearing the curtains boots his bed and breaks his toe in the process, so he comes down exhausted and with his room destroyed only to see the guy kneeling down fixing the electric fire in the living room, basically the guy had just come to fix the fire heard a massive ruckus upstairs and saw my uncle come down bleeding and exhausted, poor guy must have thought he was about to be murdered
Genuine laugh out loud moment.
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