Great Battles.

Ever been in one? I was in one just earlier today.

I went for a mean slash. Pleased with the work I had done I decided to go wash my hands. As I just started rinsing, I seen a little movement next to my right hand. Upon closer inspection, there he was. This big fuck off spider. Little body but fucking lanky legs.

Obviously my first reaction was to retreat. So I did to the safe confines of my room.

But then I realised the importance of this situation. This was make or break for me. Do I stay cowering in my room, while this INTRUDER lords it about in MY FUCKING BATHROOM?

No. I had to take a stand.

First step was a scout mission. Quite small bathroom so this was over pretty quickly. He was fucking relaxing in the corner of the room, thinking he was some sort of fucking Don.

So this was it, time to confront my fear and deal with this fiend.

I stepped into the room. Our eyes crossed and we were at a stand off. We both knew what was coming, it was a case of who blinks first.

Then I started to get the jitters. Even though I knew it was impossible, I kept picturing him diving off the wall onto my face. I was about to make a run for it.

But I summoned some courage from deep inside of me. Courage I never knew existed. In a split second I dived for the shower head, smashed the taps on and squirted the fucker.

His strength was admirable. With full power water gushing against him, he remained in the corner. His defiance actually taught me something, and in a small moment that seemed like an age, I thought that in another lifetime we might actually be friends.

But my might took over. He lost grip and slid down the wall into the bath. At this point I just had to put him out of his misery. He both metaphorically and literally circled the plug. Then quite amazingly squeezed through the plug holes.

I put the plug in for good measures and walked out of the bathroom with a serious look on my face.

What should have been a routine trip to the bathroom turned out to be the day I become a man.

TL:DR

Scared of spiders
Sprayed spider
Now man

Ryan:

I have a battle with the fridge on a daily basis.

I often have a battle with tiredness during drunk wanks. Usually ends up with me falling asleep with Babestation on and my cock in my hand, not good. I rarely win these battles.

I have a battle at lunch time sometimes. Today was my hardest yet.

Sat at the table, when all of a sudden that girl I want slides her hand into my pocket (she does it sometimes, don't know why).

Half a fucking hour I had to try and prevent getting a boner, despite her hand rubbing my inner groin.

Managed it though, only got a semi

I've fought many battles, won some lost some...against men and beast alike...

Every morning as I try to squeeze into my skinny jeans...I'm a warrior.

٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ wrote:Ever been in one? I was in one just earlier today.

I went for a mean slash. Pleased with the work I had done I decided to go wash my hands. As I just started rinsing, I seen a little movement next to my right hand. Upon closer inspection, there he was. This big fuck off spider. Little body but fucking lanky legs.

Obviously my first reaction was to retreat. So I did to the safe confines of my room.

But then I realised the importance of this situation. This was make or break for me. Do I stay cowering in my room, while this INTRUDER lords it about in MY FUCKING BATHROOM?

No. I had to take a stand.

First step was a scout mission. Quite small bathroom so this was over pretty quickly. He was fucking relaxing in the corner of the room, thinking he was some sort of fucking Don.

So this was it, time to confront my fear and deal with this fiend.

I stepped into the room. Our eyes crossed and we were at a stand off. We both knew what was coming, it was a case of who blinks first.

Then I started to get the jitters. Even though I knew it was impossible, I kept picturing him diving off the wall onto my face. I was about to make a run for it.

But I summoned some courage from deep inside of me. Courage I never knew existed. In a split second I dived for the shower head, smashed the taps on and squirted the fucker.

His strength was admirable. With full power water gushing against him, he remained in the corner. His defiance actually taught me something, and in a small moment that seemed like an age, I thought that in another lifetime we might actually be friends.

But my might took over. He lost grip and slid down the wall into the bath. At this point I just had to put him out of his misery. He both metaphorically and literally circled the plug. Then quite amazingly squeezed through the plug holes.

I put the plug in for good measures and walked out of the bathroom with a serious look on my face.

What should have been a routine trip to the bathroom turned out to be the day I become a man.

Fine piece of literature my friend. You, sir, are a writer!

These are some pretty weak-ass battles.

menalawyerguy wrote:

Fine piece of literature my friend. You, sir, are a writer!

I'm flattered, old chum. But it's really not hard when life throws these obstacles in your way. I'm just lucky God gave me the will to fight.

My greatest battle.

I loved that film.

Nothing stronger than the bond between a kung-fu man and his elephant.

yarnbury11 wrote:I often have a battle with tiredness during drunk wanks. Usually ends up with me falling asleep with Babestation on and my cock in my hand, not good. I rarely win these battles.

I hate that. I've vowed never to do it again after I was working away, limp, just trying to persevere, my arm hurting and just doing it for the sake of it. I won though.

This was the spider btw

Fuck you had me hooked

FFFFUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!

This was last thing I wanted, but sort of expected.

There's another one in the toilet. I assume it's a brother or son come to claim it's vengeance.

Sadly, I'm not up to the task. It's fucking bigger.

Turns out I'm not the man I thought I was

You sir.

Are my hero.

Cornholio wrote:FFFFUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!

This was last thing I wanted, but sort of expected.

There's another one in the toilet. I assume it's a brother or son come to claim it's vengeance.

Sadly, I'm not up to the task. It's fucking bigger.

Turns out I'm not the man I thought I was

Get in there and annihilate that bitch!

OMG what happened next?

I cowered in my room and he's moved somewhere.

He now has the element of surprise on me.

I fear my days are numbered.

Get some heavy gear on and hunt that bad boy down, arm yourself with poisonous spray with long reaching nossles and teach that intruder a lesson!

Sometimes you just gotta accept your fate, Kaka.

Atleast I'm man enough to do that