That's fair game.Zzonked wrote:Ché Guayaba wrote:I was half joking. But I feel like that is actually genuinely my reason. I just don't know what it is really.
I've actually spent hours contemplating this during my self discovery sessions, and the closest thing I've come up with is that it's my way of straying from social norms, or the media's perception of attractiveness. Or maybe even as a right of passage. My bear signifies my manliness. It's like a badge of honor, I've earned my beard. I am a man now.
The growing of my beard coincides with the around the same time I ceased my self destructive behavior, and began to live a more positive lifestyle.
In a way it's similar to my baldness. The first time I shaved my head it was also a right of passage. It was also a badge of honor. (although ironically I did not earn it for honorable behavior) although I think now it has evolved to mostly signifying the past and the first thing I discussed early in the post. (norms, media's perception of attractiveness thing)
I realize that to most people my beard and bald head make me more unattractive. (I know this because they tell me. Seriously, I'm constantly reminded about how ugly I am.) But it's something I've embraced and my beard and bald head have become important aspects of my identity. They have become important components to my perception of self, so the criticism doesn't bother me.
This is not a complete answer. I need to reflect on this further. But I hope this is at least a partially satisfying answer.
Deep. Yeah that's quite a satisfying answer. It's actually quite interesting to read about when someone has thought about their identity specifically. I like the bit aboutd not letting criticism bother you. People should dress/look how they feel comfortable and happy.
That said, I am going to share my opinion when my friends wear ridiculous hats.
I spend a lot of my free time just thinking and pondering actually. And sometimes not even my free time but times where I should be doing something else, like an assignment. I wonder off into my own thoughts and it negatively effects my productivity.
I think the trade of is worth it though. I feel that maybe my environment and experiences has made me a bit impulsive, callous (unfeeling) and even scarily violent, and explosive at times. Spending time reflecting on my self, my feelings and my thoughts helps me find alternatives to negative impulsive behavior. (like smashing someones face to ease my own feelings of inadequacy.)
A conciseness effort to be more compassionate and emphatic, also helps curb the callousness bit.
On further reflection, it makes me realize why Danny Trejo has become such a role model to me. His idea of, "everything good that's ever happened to me was a result of me being good to someone else." is something I really want to believe in. So I've come to idolize him in a way.
To ends things on a lighter note. Self reflection is not something that comes easily. Just this brief moment of self reflection makes me feel knackered. Genuine physically exhausted feeling.
