The Poem Thread

As Aurora deletes my work of art, I shall post them in here. (Aswell as EA ofc)

My latest...

And so the time as come for me to sleep into the night
I'm feeling rather tired, after having a banging shite

I shall arise in the morning, and get dressed in a jiffy
Stand 5 feet from the toilet, and try to piss through a stiffy

I shall jump into my van, and drive to my work area
Then let some air to my balls, because they're getting hairier

And when the work day is through, I shall return home
Load up redtube.com and wank to google chrome.


My first effort in your style.

Your poems are amazing. =P

Ryan wrote:And so the time as come for me to sleep into the night
I'm feeling rather tired, after having a banging shite

I shall arise in the morning, and get dressed in a jiffy
Stand 5 feet from the toilet, and try to piss through a stiffy

I shall jump into my van, and drive to my work area
Then let some air to my balls, because they're getting hairier

And when the work day is through, I shall return home
Load up redtube.com and wank to google chrome.


My first effort in your style.

Haha that's quality

So are your tits.


Ma'am.

forestfcfan wrote:

Ryan wrote:And so the time as come for me to sleep into the night
I'm feeling rather tired, after having a banging shite

I shall arise in the morning, and get dressed in a jiffy
Stand 5 feet from the toilet, and try to piss through a stiffy

I shall jump into my van, and drive to my work area
Then let some air to my balls, because they're getting hairier

And when the work day is through, I shall return home
Load up redtube.com and wank to google chrome.


My first effort in your style.

Haha that's quality

Thank you Mr.Miyagi

Jess wrote:Your poems are amazing. =P

Why thankyou, babe <3

Another one for the archive

It's been a while since I wrote for Jess, 2 days infact
Ah man whats up, I've gotta keep my romance intact

I can't let her leave me for some other fella
Cos' then i'd crack open the wife beater Stella

Jess, believe me, our love will never falter
And when it's our honeymoon, i'll take you to Gibraltar

We'll be up all hours...sun sea and sand
And then in the evening, we'll be walking hand in hand

One night we'll be dirty and you'll give me a good whipping
And when we've done we'll go skinny dipping

We'll be stood in the sea, arms around each other
Then i'll be cheeky and say, 'Do you wanna be a mother'

You'll be shocked at first, but then you'll drop your pants
Then a cockney bloke walks past and shouts, Oi you dirty Cants

<3

Your thread on EA was locked.

Thought it said porn thread at a glance this

Today was a bad work day, it really was a 'mare
While working with some sparks, I burnt my pubic hair

I patted out the flames, my nob started to twinge
If the flames got any bigger, I think I'd have a minge

Thinking of having a vagina, I let out a sigh of relief
I really would miss my nob, and I wouldn't like to queef

I came home from work, thinking of my pubic hell
Began to smile, and commenced rubbing bell

Not mine but always brings a tear to my eye.

I only want what's worse for Tim.
He told me that I had a quim.
I told him he's an utter fail.
He blushed when I said I was a Male.

Let me tell you a story, about my trip to the bog
I had severe stomachs pains, I needed to lay a log

It was so big, I thought I'd be there all day
It felt so good coming out, I thought I was gay

But then all of a sudden, the poop got stuck
The smell was unbareable, I yelled out "YUCK!"

I pushed and I pushed, with all my my might
"My god", I thought, "This is a stubborn shite"

After much struggle, it began to release
I was firing nuggets all out of my crease

Once I was done, I went to wash up
Layed in my bed, and bashed my bishop

Ryan wrote:Let me tell you a story, about my trip to the bog
I had severe stomachs pains, I needed to lay a log

It was so big, I thought I'd be there all day
It felt so good coming out, I thought I was gay

But then all of a sudden, the poop got stuck
The smell was unbareable, I yelled out "YUCK!"

I pushed and I pushed, with all my my might
"My god", I thought, "This is a stubborn shite"

After much struggle, it began to release
I was firing nuggets all out of my crease

Once I was done, I went to wash up
Layed in my bed, and bashed my bishop

This is a tale i'd like to tell Dan
3 guys, one bed in a caravan

Bill and Rick were gonna go unprotected
but left out Sam and he felt dejected

They were banging away all night
And carried on throuout daylight

It wasn't virginity that Bill would only lose
as he had some shocking news

I have AIDS he said with a frown
But Rick didn't care and he kept going down

At 5 oclock they finally stopped
They were both sweaty, Sams jaw dropped

They had been using his strap on
it had been broken, and he'd had it for so long

Time to revive this once good thread
Been buried to page 5, near enough dead

But then one day, forest returned
Back with better poems, I have learned

Plenty of things since my poems back then
I'll never write some shit like that again

Turns out my easiest genre is romance
So here's a poem about my bromance

Started off in Year 10, playing football
Shoulder barged the new lad against the brick wall

Apologised quickly, he looked quite hard
Lol'd at his voice, sounded like a tard

But quickly we became good friends
We were similar, same sort of trends

Then the day came we had to choose our future
I could not leave my Aston Kucher

So both of us went off to the same college
Hoping to leave with excellent knowledge

Our first priority was the fit chick in our class
She was a beaut, one sexy ass

Turned out she was a bit of a posh cunt
Also she came across as a bit blunt

We thought we had failed, wouldnt have a chance
Then went to some party, mate got a dance

Nice looking girl, great personality
Bit dim like, funny mentality

But she was easy, my mate had her within weeks
Had his dick between her bum cheeks

Told me everything, kinda dint wanna know
Suprised he dint ask, if i wanted a go

The weeks went by, the got together
Twas true love, should last forever

But for me it was hard, not much luck
All i had managed, was one drunken fuck

I regretted it in the morning, I had to laugh
Happened in the bathroom, next to the bath

Then it all changed, one week later
Met this girl, i wanted to date her

Got to know each other better
The days went by, she made me wetter

Exchanged numbers, started to text
I hoped all this would lead to sex

Many Days went by and we were still talking
I was obsessed, near enough stalking

But she was beautiful in every single way
My soppyness probably came across as quite gay

3 weeks had one, still not dating
I'd started to get sick of waiting

So then one day I took her skating
That was all a bit of baiting

She couldnt skate, i took my chance
Held her hand, tried to ice dance

Interlocking fingers was the situation
Wanted to get home and do some masterbation

Ended the night but only got a hug
Wtf was that about, i wanted a tug

But following on from that we started seeing each other
The very next day I got to meet her mother

All went well, she said i was lovely
But I didnt dare say that the dad was ugly

Quite a long poem, next time it'll be shorter
It will be about a Thai bride, and how i bought her


First poem since September, sorry if i'm a bit rusty

Brilliant

Fucking Class Mate lol

I wanna see some ABAB poems. Not this two line shite, anyone can do that.

I shall try an ABAB poem just for you Dan

Tomorrow though.

My name is James
I like Fifa games
I had some aims
Till they went up in flames
I did not blame
It on my fame
Cos the stupid game
Is so lame
What a shame
I shall exclaim
When my father came
And brought me a sandwich
I encountered a glitch
With my switch
Because of my spinach
And my ostrich
What a bitch
On that bastard pitch
So I started to twitch
Which
Made me itch
My nose
Which does not blow
Without my elbow
On my pillow



Shit writing poems are hard.

I have just seen this thread
And what a treat
Getting to read about Forrest getting "laid"
And Ryan bashing his meat

I thought I would explain
My journey of a night
It caused much pain
But at the end of the tunnel was a light

Walked into the club
Around about 10
My cock needed a rub
And perhaps rubbed again

There she was,
a girl I've been afta
Was a problem cos
She was with a load of fellas

She was with me first
She was with my second and third
Then I looked at my mate and cursed
The cunt was with my bird

Not only that,
She kissed some random guy
He looked like a rat
I wanted to rip out his cock and leave him to die

All in all I learned
A few things to take the bank
When love with a women is yearned
I'd rather just have a wank



I

Bump. Any poets out there?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
This one does

Spoiler:

This is one i made when i was about 10 at school. We had to make a "limerick".

I had a friend called Tom
who stepped on a nuclear bomb
it blew off his head
and then he was dead
now i've got a friend called John.

Sometimes I feel around in my pocket
but not because I want a locket
it's not for my keys
or even my ciggies
it's just so I can feel my cock rocket

.